ESL Teacher – The Kinetic Canuck

??????????(Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!)

Although my next post was going to be about our trip to Hong Kong, I thought that writing about the Holidays might be a little more relevant. The holiday season can be awful or amazing when you are a foreigner in another country. It’s easy to feel homesick and marginalized when you live in a country where Christmas is important on a superficial level alone, but it helps a lot when you work with awesome people and have good friends to celebrate with. Dave and I were fortunate enough to be part of several events with the great friends we’ve made over the last 4 months. And although our Christmas definitely had some ‘downs’, it was, for the most part, an excellent holiday!

The biggest Christmas tree we’ve seen in China. This is right near Xinghai Square; the metro stop we live near

Some polar bear Christmas decorations outside of a restaurant. They made me feel a little closer to Manitoba

The school held several events around the holidays that definitely helped encourage the Christmas Spirit. In addition to the Lao Wai Holiday supper, there was also a spelling bee the week before Christmas and then on Thursday we had the IGCSE New Year’s Gala. All 3 events were great fun and big successes.

I was asked to present the IG1 and Elite Girls 1 with their awards at the spelling bee. I’m lucky enough to teach in both departments, so it was great being there cheering on these awesome kids I get to teach!!!

The Christmas dinner was both delicious and delightful 🙂 I had a bit of a rough time at the dinner because Poe was in surgury that evening, but it was good to have good friends there to distract me.

My boss, one of the greatet people I’ve met in China, singing his speach. Although he is incredibly humble and wouldn’t brag about it, he does a tonne of charity work here in Suzhou and recently won an award given by the city of Suzhou, for being the city’s most important philanthropist. This is the guy I get to work for. It’s so great having a boss I have so much respect for!

IMG_20151223_203258 — One of the dearest friends I’ve made in Suzhou: Alecia. She teaches Spanish at the school (she’s from Spain).

My favorite of the holiday parties though, was the IGCSE New Year’s Eve gala. IGCSE is the department of the school where I work. Suzhou Foreign Language school is huge and there are actually 3 middle schools within the one larger school. IGCSE is the ‘English’ department because when the students graduate middle school, they receive a bilingual diploma from the University of Cambridge. We have some of the brightest students I’ve met in China in this program and I’m proud to be their teacher 🙂

3 of my best IG1 students. I teach these girls English Writing and they always blow me away with their effort and their participation in class. I couldn’t ask for a better group of 13 year olds!!!

The IG2 (grade 8) clas singing a Taylor Swift Song

Some students did a special dance for ‘Ms. Fang’, the middle school’s main administrator. She’s an incredible teacher and person and the students and teachers all love her to bits. The kids decided to put on a special dance for her (they’re all wearing masks with her face on them) and then they presented her with flowers. It was probably my favorite part of the night

I also got to perform at the gala. My boss, Nathan, plays the Ukulele, so he and I chose a couple of songs and performed them for the kids and parents. It went over really well, and when it was done, one of the IG2 students presented me with a bouquet of roses. It was so sweet!

The roses I received when our performance was done 🙂

One of my students, Ken, took some shots of Nathan and I with his Iphone and edited them. I think he did a pretty nice job!

The school hired a photographer for the event, and she caught this picture of me as I walked in. The reason I look so happy is because when I walked through the door all the IG1 kids got all excited and started shouting “Ms Marie’s here!!!!!” They know how to make me feel loved!!!

mmexport1451536242847 — We look far more professional than we actually were!

The gala finished with Abba’s ‘Happy New Year’, which I may now never get out of my head! They asked Nathan and I at the last minute if we would sing the first 8 lines of the song solo, so I had to learn it over night. I was so stressed about the whole thing (Abba is WAY out of my range) that I lost my voice! Luckily, I found it the next morning, but it was still a bit of a scare!

mmexport1451554750580~3 — Nathan and I with all of the IGCSE students! It’s unfortunate that none of the other IG teachers could make it to the event (they all work in multiple departments and couldn’t get their classes changed). I’m glad I was able to attend, though!

But the school was not the only place where I was able to celebrate the holidays (don’t worry, Dave and I DID see each other!!). We were invited to, and organized, several events with friends. Just like we would back home, we ate FAR too much and spent great time with great people 🙂

Isaac and Adam making friends at Bei Jiang; one of our favorite restaurants in Suzhou

Our new friend Amanda ADORED Hugo. He was pretty happy to curl up with her all evening!

Dave and I, while being told to stop being mushy in front of the others at dinner lol

Our Christmas Eve dinner party 🙂

IG Life 🙂

Me with Ivy and Sherry! I work with these lovely ladies. They are both fantastic teachers and some of my closest Chinese friends.

Christmas Day was a lot of fun as well. Dave and I got dressed up and had dinner at the Kempinski Hotel in Suzhou. We ate far too much (again) and then head out to The Camel (a bar in SIP) to meet some friends that I met in Shanghai.

Presley, Sarah, Zoe and I 🙂

The Kempinski. It was great, but we definitely missed the one in Guiyang.

New Year’s Eve was also a nice evening out, though I didn’t take any pictures. We hung out with my favorite Suzhou-Canadian: Jeff. Whenever I miss home, I hang out with Jeff…he is basically every Canadian stereotype personified!

48b6c401a85592fa25b86ed42e986327 — This is basically Jeff

Of course, I can’t exactly say that our holiday season was everything I had hoped it would be. The pollution from Beijing made its way down to Suzhou and Dave and I both got pretty sick from it. My skin was very irritated by the smog and dust and both of our lungs suffered. We really do love our life in Suzhou, but when we decide to move home, it will probably be because of the smog. Coming from small town Canada has left me with high standards as far as air is concerned, and Suzhou doesn’t cut it.

suzhou pollution — The first of these pictures was taken over the summer, when the pollution was very low. The second was taken when it was at it’s worst. We base the air quality each day on whether or not we can see the ‘Pants Building from our apartment.

We bought PM2.5 masks on Tao bao , as well as an air purifier for the apartment. Of course, neither arrived until the smog cloud had passed, but atleast we’re prepared for the next attack on oxygen!!

But the smog was the least of our holiday worries. We had Poe scheduled to be spayed on December 23rd, and although she was in heat at the time, we needed to get the surgery done so that she’d be healed in time for our departure for India. We read about it online and everything seemed like it would be fine. The surgery is a little more complicated when a cat is in heat, but vets do the surgery out west all the time. So we went ahead with the surgery.

A few hours after her surgery was over, we got a call from the vet telling us that she had to go back under because she had internal bleeding. 2 hours later, we found out that the vet had accidentally damaged her spleen during the original surgery (he has apologized profusely for his mistake and has admitted that it was due to his inexperience…inexperience we weren’t actually aware of…). As a result, Poe lost her spleen and we came pretty close to losing her.

They had her on an IV drip. She spent her first day there hiding in the litter box.

She become much more alert when she saw us there

She was so swollen! The stitches look much better now

Now, anyone who is not an animal lover may not understand where I’m coming from here, but Dave and I have really fallen in love with that cat over the last month and a half. She’s such a little ray of sunshine…very affectionate and always purring. She became part of our little family so quickly and we were so terribly worried we’d lose her.

mmexport1450931986662 — She really is my little sunshine!

The veterinarian did come through for us though, and he saved our little Poe. She spent 3 nights at the hospital and we visited her between our holiday parties whenever we had the chance. The nurse there commented on how much higher her spirits were when we were there, which made us feel like there was SOMETHING we could actually do for her.

IMG_20151225_151113 — Visiting her at the vet

Poe came home on Boxing Day and is still recovering. We try to keep her out of the cone as much as possible so she can get some good rest and feel comfortable, but she’s a cat…so bathing is inevitable. Her spirit is slowly returning and she’s becoming playful again, which is wonderful to see. Hugo rather enjoyed being an ‘only cat’ for the 4 days she was gone, but he’s adjusting to her return. And as much as he tries to pretend he hates that little black ball of fur, he was worried and searching for her the entire time she was gone.

Hugo, unimpressed that the ‘black one’ has returned

Poe, unimpressed that she has been ‘coned’

Poe, trying to block out all the ‘human’ around her.

So I guess our Christmas story had a happy ending. 🙂

IMG_20151225_160538 — The best present I got this Christmas was to have Poe back home safe and sound, but I did score some other shwag as well! The beautiful wallet and book were from Dave (he also got wii controls so we can play on his computer) and the painting is an original from my boss, Nathan, who is quite a talented artist! I also received a lot of chocolate and other goodies from my students. The cat key chain was given to me by Ken…one of the coolest 13 year olds I’ve ever met. My whole class was worried sick about Poe. It was very sweet that they cared so much!

I’ll be back soon with some stories about Hong Kong!

Culture Shock: An Experience of Growth

After spending the last hour or so organizing our Christmas presents for loved ones back home, it’s time to sit down and visit my good old neglected blog. I’ve been wanting to write all week, but I always try to write when I’m feeling positive. Unfortunately, I haven’t been feeling too positive as of late. But thinking about it today, I realized that my blog is suppose to be story about Adventure and Growth. And maybe some of my readers would like to hear about the bumps we’ve had during our first 3 months in Guiyang.

I think this picture shows it best. Adjusting to a new culture is such a crazy mix of emotions!!

Culture shock can be rough. According to the text books, the worst stage is when the honeymoon is over, usually around the 3rd month. Things aren’t exciting anymore, and although your routine keeps you sane, you sort of resent the routine because it means the adventure is over (well, on the surface anyway). Around month three, you begin to notice the little things that annoy you about the new culture you find yourself in.

Like rat poop...in your desk and on the school's bookshelves. That's getting REALLY annoying... — Like rat poop…in your desk and on the school’s bookshelves. That’s getting REALLY annoying…

Aside from the small annoyances I’ve been feeling, I’ve been missing certain things from home too. Some days I just want to hop on a plane and go hug my nieces. Some days I want to close my eyes and wake up with Hobbes wrapped around my head. I miss his purr. Most days though, it’s the little things I miss. A comfortable place to read, a soft bed with soft sheets, good hairspray…

Our couch. This is an improvement from the couch in the old apartment, which had no cushions. The back isn't angled at all, and the cushions don't really help much, so 20 minutes after sitting down, your bum is completely numb. I miss comfort — Our couch. This is an improvement from the couch in the old apartment, which had no cushions. The back isn’t angled at all, and the cushions don’t really help much, so 20 minutes after sitting down, your bum is completely numb. I miss comfort

What’s made my last month difficult though, isn’t the culture shock or home sickness. These are things I expected. I knew that I ‘d get sick of hearing people spit. I knew that the beds were hard, and I cherished my last nights in Canada accordingly. I even knew that Skype could never replace a hug from Ellie, or seeing Addyson crawl towards me the first time. What’s made it difficult is the amount of negativity I’m surrounded by at work.

The school where I work has a lot of great things going for it. I work with some REALLY awesome people. The visa process was also done properly and the owner here takes great pride in her 100% legit team of teachers. Last month, 19 Lao Wei were deported for having the wrong visas in Guiyang, so to work for a company where those legalities are taken seriously is a HUGE win for any teacher.

The foreign staff at Interlingua :) — The foreign staff at the school where I work

Lexie and I hiding behind a counter at the Halloween party. We stayed hidden and jumped out at the kids as they entered the cafeteria :) — Lexie and I hiding behind a counter at the Halloween party. We stayed hidden and jumped out at the kids as they entered the cafeteria 🙂

My wonderful TA Talia and I. She is really great. I never need to ask for things twice and she's always there when I need someone to translate for a parent. She's also super sweet and so nice to my students :) — My wonderful TA Talia and I. She is really great. I never need to ask for things twice and she’s always there when I need someone to translate for a parent. She’s also super sweet and so nice to my students 🙂

But Z Visas and great coworkers aren’t always enough. When your work atmosphere is a negative one, it can be hard to overcome that negativity, no matter how hard you try. When you are overseas, missing your nieces and worrying about a friend’s health, that negativity is magnified a hundred fold. When you do your very best, coming in early to make sure the Halloween party is a success and staying late so that each of your students’ parents feel heard, you expect a certain degree of gratitude from your boss. But in China, that’s not how things are always run.

One of the haunted houses I came in to finish on my day off. I can't complain too much, seeing as how I love arts and crafts :) — One of the haunted houses I came in to finish on my day off. I can’t complain too much, seeing as how I love arts and crafts 🙂

China is all about ‘saving face’. When I got a flat tire on the scooter, and the thing fell over as I tried to get it to a fence where I could lock it up, nobody helped me. This wasn’t because they were mean people. This was because they didn’t want me to ‘lose face’. Similarly, tipping isn’t a norm in China. To tip a waitress implies that the owner of the restaurant doesn’t pay him/her enough. This makes the owner ‘lose face’. This is also why verbal appreciation doesn’t come naturally to many people in China. Your paycheck is the ‘thank you’ you receive for doing your job. Anything more than that is to imply that you NEED your staff, which means you aren’t in control of your business. This makes the owner lose face. I think a lot of the negativity where I work is due to that culture norm.

Apologies are hard to come by here... — Apologies are hard to come by here…

But there’s more to it than just that. If I simply not being thanked for going above and beyond, I wouldn’t be struggling like I am. I work for a Chinese woman. It’s harder for women to ‘make it’ here, in the business world. The culture is very sexist and women here are basically dolls; they wear high heals and are always dressed to the nines. A teacher who used to work at the school summed up China with the 3 Hs: Honks, Horks and Heels. The men in China are a whole different story though. There is a very clear difference in expectations where the sexes are concerned. Women are dolls. Period. They aren’t suppose to be much more than that…

Even Police Women wear skirts! Appearance here is so important for women, that I worked with a girl who had been rejected from a Chinese airline when she applied for a job as a flight attendant. The reason: her ears stick out too far from her head.

So for my boss to have made it to where she has, running a VERY successful English School, I know that she’s had to work HARD! I respect that about her, I really do. But her success also means that she has to be taken seriously ALL THE TIME. Even in Canada this is still a bit of an issue. My 5 years as a retail manager taught me that women are not treated the same way that men are. My boss didn’t shake my hand, like he shook the boys’. He’d go in for a hug…and I am NOT a hugger. I had to be better than the boys to be noticed, and my boss has to deal with that same sexism in a country where equality is even more of an issue.

ARG1087.pvw — Rule with an iron fist, ladies…

So when someone at work steps out of line, or doesn’t do what they’re suppose to do, I know that my boss has to yell louder to be heard. I know that she thinks that the only way she can be taken seriously, is to be serious all the time. This creates a very negative atmosphere. To only ever hear the bad (because saying the good can mean losing face) and to be jumped on for every small misdemeanor (even the ones you didn’t realize were a faux pas until it was too late…) becomes exhausting. Add the fact that the honeymoon phase is over, and it’s a pretty raw deal.

So why don’t I just pack up and move home, you might ask? Well, there are two reasons.

I am able to recognize that many of these issues I’m having at work are due to cultural differences. I recognize that my boss isn’t just a bad person. So much gets lost in translation here, and so many other things get mixed up because we have different expectations of what the boss/employee relationship is suppose to be. At the end of the day though, KNOWING THIS is what gets me through.

To help you understand my second reason, I need to tell a little back story here…

In 2006, when I left Xiamen, it wasn’t on my own terms. I was working for a school where the visas were not legit, and I was caught working with that bad visa. After 5 days at the immigration bureau, signing papers and answering questions in an interrogation room, I was handed back my passport with a big red stamp across my visa: REQUESTED TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY WITHIN 5 DAYS. It was heartbreaking. I was kicked out of a country that I’d learned to love so much.

When I returned home, my family and friends couldn’t understand why I missed China so much, after I’d been treated so badly here. People couldn’t see why I’d want to return to the cockroaches and language barriers and uncomfortable beds. But the thing is…once you’re back home for good…you miss everything about your life overseas; cockroaches, deportation and all!

Knowing that one day I’m going to miss every moment of this helps a lot. In a few years, I’m going to look back at my time in Guiyang and see how these bad days shaped me into the person I’m going to become. We’re all growing after all…we’re all becoming new versions of ourselves. My most important goal in life is to make sure that my next ‘version’ is an upgrade from the last.

Marie V.28.4 - The 'in control' edition — Marie V.28.4 – The ‘in control’ edition

So I’ll take these experiences in stride. Hopefully, the school will begin to see me for the teacher that I am: a hard working, caring and dedicated educator who wants what’s best for her students above all else. And if that doesn’t happen, well, I’m all about growth and moving forward. The best thing about Marie V.28.4 is that she’s been in these situations before. My experience and my determination will get me through any rough patch that shows its ugly face 🙂

I got this tattoo as a grad gift to myself. In spite of how terribly painful it was to have done, I love what it means to me. Grow, no matter what is trying to keep you down. Oh and of course, I'm a musical junkie :) — I got this tattoo as a grad gift to myself. In spite of how terribly painful it was to have done, I love what it means to me. Grow, no matter what is trying to keep you down. Oh and of course, I’m a musical junkie 🙂

I haven’t forgotten to write about my last few days of holidays! They’ll be coming soon, I promise!